Did your girlfriend, partner, wife, or a casual hook-up tell you she’s pregnant? Are you wondering what to do or say? Maybe you’ve been here before but you feel like you didn’t handle it right. What matters now is where you go and what you do from here. Wherever you are coming from, let us offer you some helpful tips.
1) Have her confirm the pregnancy.
If possible, go to the appointment together. Having a hospital grade pregnancy test and an ultrasound will help confirm the pregnancy. An ultrasound is essential for ruling out a miscarriage or the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy, which can be life threatening.
2) Learn what your options are.
Once the pregnancy is verified, it’s important for you to understand your options. Only then can you have a productive conversation about this unplanned pregnancy. Your input is important, but keep in mind that she will have the ultimate decision because she is carrying the child. If you’re looking for unexpected pregnancy advice for men, consider these questions about each of your options moving forward:
Parenting:
Can you afford to raise a child?
Are you ready to take on a new job or extra shifts to afford this new member of your family?
Are you ready to put aside some of your dreams for the best interest of your child?
Do you plan to co-parent this child?
Are you willing to learn how to parent through classes?
Abortion:
Are you comfortable with the medical risks to her, as well as the emotional risks to each of you?
Do you know what to expect? Do you know the risks of the procedure?
Do you understand the abortion laws in your state?
Adoption:
Do you want an open or closed adoption?
Are you prepared to legally sign away your parental rights to your child?
How involved do you want to be in the process: in helping to choose a family, having a relationship with your child as they grow up, supporting the mother through her pregnancy, etc.?
Are you willing to speak with an adoption counselor?
3) Speak up and ask question.
An unplanned pregnancy creates fears and questions for everyone, and how each person experiences those fears can vary widely. That’s why it’s crucial to tackle this as a team. She should not have to carry this alone. Don’t hesitate to speak up and ask questions to medical professionals and people you trust.
4) Be supportive and listen.
It’s okay to have mixed feelings and even be scared. The decisions you make now will always be with you. That’s why at Mid Cities Women’s Clinic we have resources to help you both. You can confirm the pregnancy through a pregnancy test and an ultrasound. Before you worry about the cost, you should know, all our services are free and confidential. So, don’t wait. Just like you want to support her, we are waiting to support you!